Wednesday, February 12, 2014

It's Aliens, It's My Evil Twin, It's A Bone.......

So, I've been having this really weird shoulder/arm pain since December.  It doesn't hurt when I lift something but hurts like crazy when I put my footrest down and get out of my chair or I extend my arm out to reach for something.  I'm thinking I should probably go to the doctor.....but my cancer appointment is next week and it seems to me that no matter where I go, they are going to want me to see the cancer doc and make sure it's not cancer before we can do the tests to find out what's going on.  I refuse to have a CT scan done before the cancer doc visit this time....see fool me once.  It could easily be a pinched something or other, but the lymph nodes under my arm and around my jaw have been tender.  I've also been having this really exquisite ear pain...yes, ear pain can be exquisite.  So, I've been totally going to the cancer place which I always do this time of year.  I've been trying to nail down where exactly the pain is coming from and last night Shane and I discovered a lump right where my neck and shoulder meet.  So now I'm really in the cancer place.

The boys have been trying to entertain me with possible scenarios for the lump.  I must say, they definitely have gotten my sick and horrifying sense of humor.  This took all of my teens and early 20's to develop...reading, living, and believing all those Stephen King novels I read....not to mention Freddy Kruger.  Jack has decided that they did not take out my thyroid in 2010.  Instead the doctors implanted alien insectoids into my neck and shoulder.  The lump is them maturing and trying to get out.  They will erupt from my body with a gush of blood and puss, but I will survive.  (Always a lucky thing after an alien erupts from your body.)  By the way, spell check is telling me there is no such word as insectoid, but I've seen Star Trek and Babylon 5, and it truly is a word.  Tim has decided that my evil twin "Grace" is breaking forth from my body.   Interesting that she is both evil and has the name "Grace".  I have taught my children the art of irony.  He is just hoping that Aunt Grace doesn't develop a mouth and begins to speak to him.  Because that would be truly creepy...the talking, not Aunt Grace.  (I told you I raised my children to be sick and twisted.)   My scenario is that a bone has migrated from somewhere and is trying to break through my skin so it looks like a compound fracture but totally isn't.  (Shane says this is totally impossible...but hey, you never know.)

1 comments:

Peg-mom said...

I hope it's only Tim's version... or less!!! Our thoughts & prayers are with you...